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Circular dating

And after an interview I did with her last week for her audio series, we engaged in an email dialogue about one of her signature concepts: Circular Dating.

The definition on her site is benign: “Dating several men (at least 3) all at the same time.

This is what it felt like to be featured on my friend Rori Raye’s blog last week, in a post entitled “The Circular Dating Argument”.

I went there to save some lives – and took quite a beating for doing so.

No one is asserting that you should be content to be merely a girlfriend forever.

All I’m saying is that if you’re with a man who believes in marriage, you have to allow him to come to his own conclusions over time.

Maybe you wouldn’t dive in front of the car, but you’d run and wave your hands and scream at the top of your lungs – anything to avert what is sure to be a serious accident.

You accept the date with the man who calls first, and do not shuffle times or even think about manipulating the schedule in order to get dates with the man you like best, or dates to the most fun places. What Rori calls Circular Dating, I just call “dating”.

Circular dating is about Free Therapy and practicing Rori Raye Tools. Be proactive, date lots of people, have fun, don’t get too excited about a promising prospect – we’re all on the same page so far.

Since many of you have been contacting me with questions about the Circular Dating tool, I’m going to share a portion of my latest newsletter with you here to provide a better understanding of this tool: Once I noticed men noticing me .

If you saw a woman who was about to drive off a cliff, would you tell her? She’s plowing over orange cones and through the yellow police tape towards a towering precipice. And the faster she accelerates, the more frantic you get, watching her willingly (and confusingly) speed towards the chasm.

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And if you have a boyfriend who isn’t consistent, isn’t kind, and never wants to be married, there’s no need to “circular date”. No one wants to waste time on a dead-end relationship. And try though I might, I can’t think of too many confident men who feel that their exclusive girlfriend has a right to date other men after 6 months, 12 months or 18 months, merely because she’s insecure that he might not marry her. I tried, in vain, to reiterate my point of view – which is that I’m offering a constructive, not destructive, criticism of circular dating. To figure out, over the course of time, if he wants to spend the next 35 years with you. You might have a strong chemistry and a great feeling about a guy, but lifetime relationships take years to forge, not months.

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